Tag Archives: mental health counseling arizona

Dating in Recovery

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Thinking of starting your first intimate relationship post-drug or alcohol addiction? The right relationship can strengthen your alcohol and drug recovery. At the same time, dating the wrong person can push you towards relapse. Here are a few things to consider before you start a new relationship.

Build Positive Self-Care Habits First

While you take time to reflect on past dating habits, work on loving and caring for yourself. Loving another person in an intimate relationship starts with loving yourself. Build a foundation of self-love and positive self-care habits before you move on to your next relationship.

One of the biggest threats to a successful addiction recovery is stress. The passion of romance can be stressful, especially for those recovering from alcohol and drugs. Jumping into a new relationship before you master fulfilling your own emotional needs can lead to addiction relapse.

Ask yourself:

  • “Am I happy most days?”
  • “When I get upset, do I keep it in perspective?”
  • “Do I feel just as happy alone as I do with other people?”
  • “Am I excelling at work without feeling stressed out?”

If you can answer “YES!” to these questions, then it’s a good sign that you’re ready for a relationship.

Take Care of a Plant, Volunteer, Start a Project

Once you’ve taken care of your own happiness, try adding on some extra challenges. Taking care of a plant is a classic addiction-recovery cliche. If plants aren’t your thing, try taking on a volunteer project. This can be fulfilling in itself. If you can’t sacrifice a few hours every week to help others, do you really think you’re ready for an intimate relationship? Relationships are time-consuming and can present a lot of emotional challenges. Volunteering is a nice stepping stone.

Before you move on to a relationship, pick up a hobby or start a passion project. It will also help keep you sober and on track with your addiction recovery journey. When you start a new relationship, you’ll have less time to go around. You don’t want to feel like the relationship is preventing you from doing what you love. Once you’ve proven that you can donate time to others and dedicate time to your passions, it may be time to consider dating.

Recognizing Past Relationship Habits

As a recovering alcoholic or drug addicted individual, there’s a chance that you’ve developed some less-than-healthy relationship habits. Before you jump into a new intimate relationship post-addiction, it’s important to press pause and see if you can find any negative patterns that you’d rather not repeat.

Dating instincts are mostly subconscious. The relationship patterns you witnessed your parents engage in can have a significant impact on your dating habits as an adult. If you had parents who were addicted to alcohol or drugs, you might have absorbed some unhealthy dating tendencies. Relationships in the fog of addiction play out differently than when you’re dating with a clean brain and a clear head. By identifying negative patterns in past relationships, your next one will have a better chance of going well.

Avoiding Toxic People

It’s never time to start a new relationship with someone who isn’t emotionally healthy. When you feel like you’re ready, you need to be confident that your new partner will have a positive influence.

Negative interpersonal interactions have an adverse effect on mental health. How do you know that the person you’re interested in is healthy? Take a look at their life as a whole. Do they have a healthy social life? This looks different for every person. They don’t have to have a ton of friends, but they do need to be satisfied with the ones they have. Do they talk positively about life?

People tend to put there best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship. If you’ve only known someone for a few weeks and they’re already complaining, it’s not a good sign.

Start Slow, Love Can Be a Drug

There’s no reason to jump the gun. Take things slow. It can be easy to get too absorbed in your first relationship as a recovering addict. While you were using, you may have deprived yourself of close bonds and genuine emotional connections. Time was spent interacting casually, catching a buzz, and going about your day.

The authentic love of your first intimate relationship can be a drug in itself. In fact, love is a drug — oxytocin to be exact. Oxytocin is a hormone that acts on opioid receptors. It’s activated when you experience emotional and physical intimacy. Oxytocin is influential in the formation of social bonds. The desire to give yourself over to the satisfaction and relief that oxytocin provides can be powerful. Romance has the potential to distract you from your drug and/or alcohol recovery. Your affection should feel like a choice, not an addiction.

Communication is Key

Date someone who is an excellent communicator. Make sure that they’re open to answering questions about their past and answering difficult questions. As somebody working on your addiction recovery, you may have a tumultuous past. Dating someone who’s uncomfortable talking about it isn’t conducive to a healthy and positive addiction recovery. The person you date should be willing to discuss the impact that the relationship is having on your recovery.

Recovery needs to be your priority, and the person you date has to understand that. After all, if you relapse, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship becomes strained.

The High Stakes of Relationships in Recovery

You have to be ruthless with relationships in alcohol and drug recovery. The stakes are high. As your relationship grows, it can impact you in one of two ways. If communication is open and fearless, it can lead to success in recovery and make you a healthier person. If you or the other person doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the hard stuff, it will inevitably strain the relationship and your recovery.

By recognizing past relationship habits, avoiding toxic people, focusing on yourself first, and starting slowly, you can build a relationship that will strengthen your addiction recovery journey and bring joy into your life.

If you or anyone you love is seeking an individual counseling, intensive outpatient treatment program, or are just seeking more information, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is glad to help. Please, give us a call today at (602) 535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

The Impact of Toxic Relationships In Recovery

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Toxic habits like drug and alcohol addiction tend to attract toxic people. When you’re using, you may not be aware of the toxic relationships that are closest to you. Even non-addicts get sucked into emotionally destructive relationships.

This article discusses the pitfalls of toxic relationships in drug and alcohol recovery, how to avoid them, how to recognize them, how to get out of them, and how to recover.

How Toxic Relationships Start in the First Place

In the psychology of relationships, like attracts like. A common thread among addicted individuals is a turbulent family background. Drug and alcohol addiction can stunt emotional development and lead to poor coping skills. You repeat what you know, and before you realize it, you’re in a stormy relationship surrounded by negative people. These relationships can easily threaten alcohol and drug recovery.

Don’t be too hard on yourself! Your predisposition to unhealthy relationships is part of a well-documented phenomenon called assortative mating. It’s the natural process of selecting friends and partners who are similar to yourself.

How to Identify Toxic Relationships In Recovery

The first step towards weeding out toxic relationships is to identify them. How does that person make you feel? Do they help you feel more positive or negative? You’re going to need all the positivity you can get throughout alcohol and drug recovery, and there’s no room for negative deadweight.

Do they take part in destructive activities, like doing a lot of drugs, drinking frequently, and hanging out with the wrong crowd? Other toxic behaviors include stirring up excess drama, self-centeredness, and violating personal boundaries.

To simplify the process of identifying toxic people, see if you can categorize them into one of these five categories: Narcissist (self-absorbed), Underminer (back-stabbing, deceptive), Chronic Downer (depressed, negative), Flake (unreliable), or Critic (judgemental).

Keep a log of how your emotions change when you’re around them. After a few weeks of logging, their impact will be obvious. Making a record of your feelings makes it easier to decide to exit the relationship. The decision will already be on paper and more difficult to ignore.

How to End a Toxic Relationship

Addiction is a toxic habit that can feel impossible to break. Toxic relationships can be equally hard to end. You have to value your survival and ultimate happiness above all else. As you grow into the person you’re becoming, you’ll need to shed old relationships like a snake sheds its skin. You don’t have to stop loving the person, but you may very well need to stop seeing them.

There’s no easy way to end an intimate friendship or romantic relationship, just like there’s no easy way to get clean and sober. Chances are, it’s going to hurt. Keep in mind that your decision to end the relationship could be the wake-up call they need. When you run into them years down the line, they may thank you for inspiring them to turn a pivotal corner in their life.

How to Recover From a Toxic Relationship

In the aftermath of ending a toxic relationship, it’s important to surround yourself with positive friends. Positivity is contagious. You’ll need to soak up all the good energy you can in the wake a painful breakup.

Allow yourself to rest. In the midst of great change, having time to reflect is critical. Give your emotional equilibrium time to adjust. Build some alone time into your weekly routine. Fill that time with exploring things that interest you. Connect with productive activities. When it’s time to build new relationships, you’ll have positive interests to bond over.

Evaluating New Relationships In Recovery

According to Linda E. Weinberger, professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Keck School of Medicine of USC, idealization blinds people to the “red flags” of toxic relationships. You’re drawn to partners due to unconscious or semi-conscious drives that are influenced by cultural and biological forces.

Ask yourself a few simple questions to determine if a new friend will make a positive impact on your alcohol and drug recovery.

Do you feel more stressed around them?
Do you feel needy for their affirmation?
Do you feel manipulated or controlled in any way? Do they come across as jealous or possessive? Are they involved in destructive relationships?
Do they lack productive goals?

If the answer to these questions is a giant “NO,” then they may be a good candidate for a new relationship.

The Effects of Toxic Relationships on Health

When you’re in the midst of a toxic relationship, the adverse effects may be obvious to everyone but you. Toxic relationships can make you distrust the voice inside your head that points out red flags.

Toxic relationships elevate stress hormones. The constant tension from the relationship can keep the body’s fight-or-flight response engaged continuously. This may lead to chronic fatigue, a weakened immune system, poor digestive health, and hormonal imbalances.

The Whitehall II study was a landmark body of research on the effects of toxic relationships on stress and health. Researchers analyzed more than 10,000 people over the course of 12 years. They found that people who stay in negative relationships have an increased risk of dying from strokes and heart attacks. The effects have to do with a mechanism in the body called the CTRA (conserved transcriptional response to adversity). The CTRA is overactive in people who stay in toxic relationships, leading to increased inflammation and low immunity.

Other research has found that hostile relationships can even slow the healing of wounds.

Final Thoughts on Toxic Relationships and Recovery

Toxic relationships can be challenging to identify. It’s critical to your drug and alcohol recovery that you end toxic relationships and replace them with positive ones. Recovery is a time of dramatic change. Not everyone who you’ve bonded with during addiction will be a healthy presence as you move forward. Make a log of how the people closest to you make you feel. If their impact is thoroughly negative, they’ll have to go. Your health and recovery are at stake.

If you or someone you love is struggling with drug or alcohol addiction, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is happy to answer any questions you may have. Call us today at 602-535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

Teen Heroin Use and the Effects on Mental Health

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With the recent heroin epidemic creeping its way into the teenagers of America, there have been studies on the effects of opioid usage in developing brains. It might be obvious that heroin will in no way help those on their way to becoming adults. However, it’s important we educate ourselves on how a teenager’s brain isn’t developing properly while under the influence.

Within a study published in Journal of Child & Adolescent Substance Abuse, a team of researchers has discovered the mental health damages found in heroin addicted adolescents and compared it to adolescents addicted to other substances that aren’t classified under opioids.

It’s notable that heroin addicted teens are more likely to suffer from symptoms of depression, anxiety, and an overall poor concept of their self-image. This fact alone shows that heroin use is very dangerous even outside its potentially fatal consequences. With the developing brain on such an intense substance, an addicted adolescent is preventing themselves from growing many of their psychology’s capabilities.

Teen Usage Statistics

The National Institute of Drug Abuse holds an annual survey tracking the statistics of heroin usage in teenagers between the grades of eighth and twelfth. For those interested in doing research on their own, the survey’s proper title is Monitoring the Future.

The National Institute of Drug Abuse has been running this survey since 1975 and notes that heroin use has gone up within the last decade. One of the biggest reasons for this is because purer heroin became available sometime in the 1990’s. Through that, people began smoking and snorting it rather than just injecting.

The survey will tell you that about 0.6% of twelfth and tenth graders consume heroin at least once over the course of a year. While 0.5% of eighth graders intake the substance. If we can compare these numbers to that of the 1970’s, there remains an increase. However, the Institute notes that they were only surveying needle injections up until 1995. Therefore, the team wasn’t accounting for the use of heroin with these other methods before they became popular.

One notable fact is even though heroin isn’t quite as favored amongst high school teens as it is in young adults, other opioid substances (mostly prescription medication) have seen an increase in popularity. In a previous blog, we mentioned how one of the most sufficient causes for heroin use is an opium addiction starting with other substances. We can link the increase of heroin use in young adults with the increase in opioid prescriptions amongst teenagers.

Effects on a Teen’s Mental Health

As mentioned earlier, the Journal of Child & Adolescent Substance Abuse conducted a survey in which they took heroin-addicted teenagers and compared them to teenagers addicted to other substances. Fifty-two of the teens were experiencing heroin addiction while sixty-eight were noted as having a non-opioid addiction.

The researchers found that those addicted to heroin were more likely to hold the traits of the following mental behaviors:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Disruptive conduct
  • Poor concept of oneself

Though these traits can be common even in non-drug users, the study concluded that there was a significant difference in attitude between heroin addicted teens and those addicted to other substances.

We can conclude that heroin has some major effects on the developing brain that teenagers should want to avoid. And though other addictions don’t seem to hold such a major threat, they still threaten heroin usage in later years. Most notably, if they are addictions of prescribed opioid substances.

If you have any questions in concern to teen heroin usage or you are looking for a treatment plan to help an addicted teenager, please give Stonewall Institute Treatment Center a call at 602-535-6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

Counselor Scottsdale Arizona

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Stonewall Institute provides mental health counseling services for people who are struggling with depression, trauma, anxiety, and more severe mental health issues. In addition to individual therapy, we also offer group services such as Stress and Anxiety Management. Below you will find some tips on how to better manage your stress:

1. Breathe Easily
“Breathing from your diaphragm oxygenates your blood, which helps you relax almost instantly,” says Robert Cooper, Ph.D., the San Francisco coauthor of The Power of 5 (Rodale Press, 1996), a book of five-second and five-minute health tips. Shallow chest breathing, by contrast, can cause your heart to beat faster and your muscles to tense up, exacerbating feelings of stress. To breathe deeply, begin by putting your hand on your abdomen just below the navel. Inhale slowly through your nose and watch your hand move out as your belly expands. Hold the breath for a few seconds, then exhale slowly. Repeat several times.

2. Visualize Calm
It sounds New Age-y, but at least one study, done at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, has found that it’s highly effective in reducing stress. Dr. Cooper recommends imagining you’re in a hot shower and a wave of relaxation is washing your stress down the drain. Gerald Epstein, M.D., the New York City author of Healing Visualizations (Bantam Doubleday Dell Press, 1989), suggests the following routine: Close your eyes, take three long, slow breaths, and spend a few seconds picturing a relaxing scene, such as walking in a meadow, kneeling by a brook, or lying on the beach. Focus on the details — the sights, the sounds, the smells.

3. Make Time for a Mini Self-Massage
Maria Hernandez-Reif, Ph.D., of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine, recommends simply massaging the palm of one hand by making a circular motion with the thumb of the other. Or use a massage gadget.

To learn more about our counselor scottsdale arizona services and receive more tips on stress and anxiety management, contact the Stonewall Institute today at 60-535-6468.